Dear Dr. Tamme,

My girlfriend and I have been living together for nearly a year and every night when I am ready to just sleep she insist on having conversation.

What can I do about this when I want to shout "shut up please"?

Marshall

Dear Marshall,

It sure is a miserable state of affairs when you are ready to totally "Zzz" out and someone wants to gab. Especially irritating when you have finally entered the blissful land of peace and "boom" you must return to respond to some trivial comment or get the "nudge".

The solution is definitely NOT the "shut up" approach. It might be useful to try going to bed a half hour before you normally would and fully expect to have some conversation. A woman feels like she finally has your undivided attention when the room is dark and there are no distractions. This is the time she can communicate with you and be certain you are paying attention. It can be a time to resolve issues that require peace and quiet for clear appropriate response from both parties. If you are thinking that an evening of watching television together or using laptops counts as meaningful chat time you are sadly mistaken. You could spend the entire day together and chances are she is still going to require bedtime conversation.

Most important to remember, if your girlfriend needs to sleep immediately upon hitting the sheets there will be no chatting. Change in plan and that's the way she rolls!

Play your cards right, get to bed early, have some chat time and if you're lucky you will receive a "proper send off" into dream land. Now that's the way to END THE DAY.

Best Wishes,

Dr. T